Friday, December 14, 2012

Chapter 67: Living in Boredom Acres

*ZOEY'S POV*


Hey, here I am in Butterfly Acres...and they should call it Boredom Acres.

Every day is pretty much the same.  Terry goes to work; I stay home, write, and talk to Pops; then we get together and go to see a movie at the half-off theater - which plays movies that have been out on DVD for about three years.

Terry loves it.


Then we hit the local bar for a drink.  I've never been a big fan of bars, but in order to get to a dance club we either have to drive all the way back to Harmony, or maybe go to Bridgeport...and I hate Bridgeport.  Ugh.


Sometimes we'll switch it up and have dinner at the bar as well.
"So what did you do today?" I ask.
"Hmm, mostly paper work...two parking tickets, a few vandals, one public intoxication..." he rambles.
"Yeah, sorry about that." I joke.
He laughs, "Vi, you crack me up."
He puts his hand over mine and looks at me with those kind, loving eyes and I remember why I'm here.

I never thought of myself as a woman that needs a man...but I need this man.

Damn it, I sound like a Hallmark card...which is why it is time to put my plan into action.

"I have to go to the restroom...be right back." I tell him.


I get into the bathroom and call AJ.
"Yup?" He answers.
"Hey, it's Zoey," I tell him.
"Yeah, what's up?" He asks, obviously with his mouth full of what I hope is food.
I roll my eyes, "How is she?"
"Not much better.  She has been laying on the couch watching Lifetime movies for the past two weeks." he informs me.
"Shit," I say.
"Tell me about it," he starts, "every time I walk through there I'm afraid I'm going to get my period."
I roll my eyes again and understand why Amy frequently wants to back-hand this boy.
"Well, she hasn't answered her phone in forever...can I talk to her?" I ask.

I hear groaning and shuffling before I hear him say, "Hey, Zoey wants to talk to you."
"I don't want to talk to anyone...hey...quit...hey Z," her voice gets slowly louder until she greets me.
I laugh.
She is still talking to AJ. "Okay, I've got it, you don't have to hold it to my face."
I hear him in the background, "Aww, baby, that's what you said last night."

SLAP!
"OUCH!" AJ yells, "Okay, damn...it was a joke."


"Hey Z," Amy repeats after apparently killing AJ.  
"Do you need my help to get rid of the body?" I ask her jokingly.
She chuckles, "Don't tempt me."
"So how's everything going?" I ask her even though I already know the answer.
"I'm okay.  Just tired." She replies.
"Tired" for Amy is code for "Barely able to lift my head but I'm not going to say anything because I enjoy suffering in silence."
"Well, hey, you know what you could do?" I ask, "You could move here."
She laughs, "So I can look at fields and cows?  That should cheer me right up."
"Hey, we'll build you a house on that land Terry wants to buy eventually.  It's so pretty up there." I tell her.
She laughs again.


"You think I'm kidding, but I'm 100% serious," I tell her.
"Yeah, okay," she says.
"It's either that or I'm going to have to get a divorce and move back there.  I don't think I can live this far away from you much longer," I confess.
"Yeah, I agree with that," she says, "I'm having bff withdrawal."
"Okay then, you should really just move here," I say.
"Yeah, I'll think about it," she says.
"I'll let you go so you can pack," I tell her.

I swear, I'm going to get that girl here one way or another.


As great as it is living here with Pops, I can't wait to get out of here into our house, which is currently being built.


"What are you doing there girl?" Pops asks me.
"Working on the house plans...should we build you a room?" I ask.
"Nah, but you should have plenty of room for all those grandchildren you're going to give me," he says.


That makes me want to choke.  
What is with these men and their inability to understand the phrase, "I want one child."

Oh well, I don't say anything and just hope Amy can get here and have her dozen or so illegitimate children to pacify him.  Surely that will do it.

Another couple weeks go by when Terry gets home from work hyped up on something.

"Vi!  Vi!  Come here!  Hurry!" He yells through the house.

"What has got you so worked up?" I ask him.

"It's done!" He says.

I look at him confused, "What's done?"

"The house!  Come on!" he exclaims.

I can't help but be excited as well.  I have been waiting to move into our house for what seems like forever and now it's done?!

Eeeek!

He blindfolds me and walks me up the street where the house is.
"Is this really necessary?" I ask.
He ignores me and we stop walking, "Okay, open!"


I could not have been prepared for the amount of gorgeous that stands in front of me.  I am amazed.  This is mine?


Here it is.  Isn't it gorgeous?

"What do you think Vi?" Terry asks.
"I-I-I'm...it's...wh-..." is all I can manage.


Terry looks at me and the house smugly before laughing out loud, "Yeah, I'm definitely getting laid tonight."





Thursday, December 13, 2012

Chapter 66: Should've Known Better

*AMY'S POV*


Time has flown by and Randi is about ready to pop.  She has been doing really well taking all her vitamins and keeping up with her doctor's appointments.


"Oh wow!  Can you believe that kicking?" I ask, feeling her stomach.
She laughs, "I know, you should feel it from this side."


I wish I could, but I am actually surprised that I really don't care how this baby is coming into my life.  I'm just excited that at the end of this, I am finally going to be a mother.

I used to think that I would be devastated if I couldn't carry my own children, but now I realize that however a baby comes into my life, I am going to love it no matter what.


Thankfully, I don't have to wait much longer.  One night while we're sitting at home, Randi tells me her water broke.


I hold Randi's hand as we walk into the hospital and I am with her every second.  I helped her with her breathing, gave her ice chips, rubbed her feet and everything until she was ready to push.

When it was all over, she had given birth to a little boy.


As we head home, she wanted to carry him...and she also wanted to name him Adam.  That was fine with me and it didn't bother me that she wanted to carry him.  She had just given birth to him.

When we get home, Randi goes to bed and I take Adam and care for him.


I know everyone talks about a mother's instinct and how when they carry a baby they learn to love it more than they have ever loved anyone in their lives, but I have realized that we don't have to give birth to our children to love them like that.  I can't imagine loving anyone more than I love Adam.  Already...I know it sounds ridiculous, but that's the way I feel.

Even AJ likes the kid.  He's actually surprised me with this whole thing.  As soon as I told him that I was adopting a baby, I expected him to run, but he told me he was up for helping in any way he can.  I guess he gets along with kids more because they share the same mentality.


As soon as I get Adam settled in his swing, I call Zoey.
"How's motherhood going bff?" she asks.
I can't help but beam.  I am actually a mother.  
"Everything is going great," I tell her, "Adam is a really good baby."
"I'm so happy for you.  When are you all going to visit?" she asks.
I laugh, "Whenever his pediatrician clears him to travel.  Why?  Are you anxious to have a screaming baby in your house?"
"Anything would be better than constant boredom," she complains.
I laugh again.
"You know, you could move here," she offers.
"Well, after that winning endorsement..." I joke.

I chat for a little while longer when I hear Randi get up and come downstairs.


She walks over to Adam's swing and plays with him.  I say goodbye to Zoey so I can check on how she's doing.


"Hey, how are you doing?" I ask her.
She shuffles over to me and shrugs, "Okay...I guess..."

Something is on her mind...of course I have read all about postpartum depression and the emotions she's probably going through.  I want to make this as easy as possible for her.


She looks up at me and smiles.
"I've actually got great news," she tells me.
"Oh yeah?" I ask, "What's that?"
"I talked to my mom.  She said I can come home," she says.
I raise my eyebrows, "that's great.  Do you think you're ready?"
"Yeah...she even said she would help me with the baby." she tells me.

I think my heart literally falls out of my chest.
I look at her and ask quietly, "What?"
"Um...yeah, she...uh...wants to help me with Adam." she repeats.

Now my heart is jumping from my stomach to my throat and there's a ringing in my ears accompanied with a roar I can't seem to get rid of.

I try to swallow, but encounter nothing but a dusty, dry lump.
"So...uh..." is all I can manage to get out.
I don't want to push her.  I mean, she is well within her rights.  I haven't officially adopted Adam and she has time to change her mind anyway...and Adam is her son after all.
"Yeah, so...my mom is going to come and pick us up," she is acting entirely too casual about this when I want to start screaming.
"So...you don't need me to adopt him?" I finally ask.
She looks guilty, "I thought about it...and while you've been great and I don't want to hurt anyone...I especially don't want to hurt myself.


I want to scream at her.

I want her to know that it's too late.  I have already fallen completely in love with this little boy and now she's ripping him away from me?  How is that right?

My whole family knows about him...they've sent gifts...they've sent cards.  They planned a baby shower.
Everyone is expecting me to have a son. 

I expected me to have a son.

I look at the swing Zoey sent and think about the other baby furniture people have sent.  What am I going to do with all that stuff?

I sigh.  Even though I'm not going to be using this stuff, that's no reason that Adam should suffer.  I know Randi and her mom don't have much money.

"Why don't you just take his crib...and swing...and high chair..." I ramble.
She looks at me, almost as if she is pitying me.  I can't take it.

"That would be great," she tells me, "we don't have any of that stuff...my mom can pack it all in her truck."

Well, isn't that just great.

So her mother gets here.  She and her new boyfriend load everything into the back of their truck as I silently wonder if the bed of the thing will make it there without falling off.

Her mother is extremely skinny with hardly any teeth, and reeks of cat urine - which I can only assume is from her at-home meth lab.

I stand paralyzed on the sidewalk as they drive away.

Well, I guess that's it.


With the house empty, I am finally able to do exactly what I want to do. 

 Be alone and sob.


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Chapter 65: Things Just Keep Getting Weirder for Kelsey

*KELSEY'S POV*


Have I ever mentioned that my life is crazy?  Well, in case you didn't believe me before, it just got crazier.


Everything is great with Ivy.  She is the cutest little girl ever, even though she looks more like her daddy.


As for me and Eddie...well, things have been kind of bad.  We've been fighting a lot.


"...and I'm here all day taking care of the baby and when you get home you can't even be bothered enough to pick her up and give her a hug.  She misses her daddy...what the hell is wrong with you?" I scream at him during one particularly bad fight.


"Hey!" He yells back, "I'm doing the best I can...you don't even look at me twice when I walk through the door.  What am I supposed to do?  You're my wife...start acting like it!"
"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot, my life is now complete now that I've become your wife...excuse me!" I scream back.

Somewhere in my mind, it occurs to me that this isn't going to get any better.  I can hear Ivy crying in the next room, the cat is cowering in the corner, and I am about ready to punch his lights out.  

And this is an every day occurrence.   
This isn't getting any better.


"Look, I'm done," I start quietly, "I can't take this anymore."
"What are you talking about?" he asks.
"I want a divorce." I tell him point-blank.
He looks like I just slapped him across the face, but I can't let his emotions get mixed up with mine and try to fix something that just isn't fixable.  We've been trying to make this work for too long.  I'm ready to get out.

So he leaves and says he's going to pick up his stuff later and we'll work out a visitation schedule for Ivy.
Yeah, he never was into the father thing, so I doubt he'll be back.

Of course, I have some more complications for you...ready?

I'm pregnant again.

and that's not all...

Eddie's not the father...

...and it gets better...

Guess who is?


This guy look familiar?

Yes, this would be my nephew's father...aka Rebecca's ex-boyfriend and my new baby's daddy.

I'm definitely taking this one to the grave.


Yes, baby girl, your mama is screwed up in the head.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Chapter 64: Sh*t Just Got Real

*AMY'S POV*


Randi looks so ashamed as she tells me she is pregnant.  To beat it all, she's not entirely sure who the father is.  She had a boyfriend awhile ago, but they broke up and she kind of went wild when she left her mom's.

"What do you want to do?" I ask her.
"I'm not ready.  I know I'm not.  I can't raise a kid.  I'm not going to be able to do anything...graduate, go to college...I'm so not ready to have a kid." she keeps repeating.

I can't help but think how unfair this is.  Here's a young teenage girl with her whole life in front of her, completely not ready to have a child and she gets pregnant.  Then there's me.  A completely settled woman with financial security, an established career, a house...all that...and so far I haven't been able to get pregnant...well, except for that once...but we all know how that went.


"So what are you thinking honey?" I ask her.
She looks at me with a guilty look on her face, "I think I want to get an abortion."
I take a deep breath, "How long have you known you were pregnant?"
"I just found out last night." she replies.
"Okay," I start, "do you think you might want to think about it a little longer?  Just to be sure this is what you want to do?"
"I don't think I could be more sure.  I know I'm not ready for a kid." She tells me.
"How sure are you?" I ask.
"Like 98% sure." she says.
"Okay, what's keeping it from being 100%?" I ask.
"Probably my mom," she says, "I know things are weird with us right now, but she told me she would disown me if I ever did anything like this."
"Well, you just turned eighteen, so she doesn't have to know," I offer.
"You don't think I'm a horrible person for wanting to do this?" she asks.
"Of course not," I say, "I'll support you no matter what you want to do.  This is your body."
She sighs, hopefully in relief.
"So what can I do to help?" I ask.



Turns out Randi doesn't have a clue what to do from here, so I do some research and find "local" clinics that provide abortions.  Well, the closest ones we can find are an hour or two away, and there are all kinds of hoops she needs to jump through, but after talking with them, I go ahead and schedule an appointment for her.


With her appointment two days away, I sit down to talk to her.
"Are you ready for tomorrow?" I ask her.
I have agreed to go with her to the clinic.  I know how hard this is going to be and I don't want her to be alone.
"Yeah, I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore.  I hate getting sick all the time and being tired," she tells me.
I nod, "Well, it's almost over."

We sit in silence awhile longer when she turns and starts talking to me again.


"Amy, I have a question for you," she starts.
"Okay..." I urge her to continue.
"Why don't you have any kids?" she asks.
I gulp.  The truth is that I want children more than anything and I am really upset that I don't have any children yet, but I can't really go into all that with her.
"I just haven't had any yet.  I want them...but it just hasn't happened yet." I tell her.
"But you want them?" she asks.
I nod, "Yes, very much."
"Can I ask you something else?" she continues.
"Sure," I reply, not really sure where this is going.
"If I were to have the baby and give it up for adoption, would you adopt it?" she asks.
I don't even have to think about it, partly because this option had crossed my mind from the time she found out she was pregnant.  I didn't bring it up because I didn't want her going through the heartache of giving up a child.  I definitely didn't want to saddle her with raising a child she didn't want in the first place.  Either way, I answer, "In a heartbeat."
She's silent and I don't really know how to get more information out of her without seeming like a baby poacher.  The truth is, I would be absolutely ecstatic if she let me adopt the baby, but I can't let her just do this for me.
"Would you consider that?" I ask her.
She thinks before answering, "Yes...but I don't know what we would need to do."
"Hmm...I think I might know who could help.  Do you mind if I spoke with my mom?  She's a family attorney and I know she would know how to do an adoption.
"Yeah, sure.  I probably need to think about it a little bit more, but I think this could work." she smiles.


As much as I don't want to get excited, I can't help but be a little excited.  Hell, I'm willing to talk to my mother about this whole thing.

I keep thinking that God always gives me what I want but just in a completely screwed up way.  This will definitely qualify.


I meet my mom for dinner that night.
I am anxious to find out exactly what I need to do to adopt Randi's baby.

"So what's going on with you?" She asks me.


I kind of dread talking to her about it because I feel like she's' going to think it's a bad idea, but as I go through the spill, she surprises me.
"So do you think it's a good idea?" I ask as I finish giving her the details, "Will I have any problems adopting?"
"You shouldn't," she says, "it's not as easy as a family adoption or something, but if the child is in your custody for a certain amount of time that will make it easier."
I decide not to push it by asking her if she thinks I'll be a good mother or anything, but she starts talking about having another grandchild and being excited, so I think that's more what it's about than my having a child.


The next person I talk to about this is Zoey.
"So what's been going on with you?" she asks the next time we get on the phone.


"Um...I actually have some news," I start.
"Oh yeah?  What's up?" she prods.
"Remember me telling you about this Randi girl that has been living with me?" I start.
"Yeah, did she steal from you yet?" Z asks.
I smile, "No...actually she's pregnant."
"Aw shit," she says reflexively.
"Well, there's more." I say.
"It's not twins is it?"
I laugh, "God, I hope not.  She actually wants me to adopt the baby."
I hear a thud followed by Zoey sounding far away, "Hold on, I dropped you..."
I can't help but laugh.
"Okay, I'm back.  So you're adopting a baby?" She asks to clarify.
"Well, it's not official yet, but I think so." I tell her.


Well, the next day, it was official.  Randi decides that she doesn't want to have an abortion and wants me to adopt the baby.  I couldn't be more excited and neither could the rest of my family members.

As the time got closer, I kept getting gifts.  I tried to tell them not to give me anything, but they insisted.
Rebecca sent me over a high chair with fish on it.



My mom sent over a crib that matched.


...and Zoey sent over a swing.

It looks like I'm going to have to prepare for the arrival of my first child.

Chapter 63: Pitbull Makes You Want to Dance

*AMY'S POV*


It's been awhile since Zoey and Terry moved out...and AJ has made himself even more at home...if that was even possible.


Oh, it's possible.  

The man loves dancing around the house in his underwear...regardless of where I am or what I think about it.  We have argued about this over and over again...

Does that matter?  No.

Does he still do it?  Yup.

I think his motto is, "It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission."


"Hey!  Dance with me mami!" He yells over the music as I approach him to politely ask that he 1) turns down the music to save my hearing and 2) please put some clothes on.
"Ma-what?  So you're what?  Spanish now?" I ask him with a chuckle.

He reaches for my hand and spins me around, which is fun when he's spinning me out, but I get a little too close to his underwear-only body when he spins me back and I throw up in my mouth a little.


I pull my arm out of his grasp and collect myself.
"Could you maybe consider putting some clothes on?  And turning down this noise?" I yell.
He hits the off button on the remote for the stereo, "Come on, it's Pitbull...you have to dance to Pitbull...he makes your body move."
"He makes me want to move out," I say sarcastically.


Thankfully I haven't been staying at home as much.  I don't see my sisters as much as I would like to, but I do get out and catch Rebecca's shows from time to time.

Other than that, whenever I call anyone I get their voicemail.  It seems like my phone just doesn't have the ability to make calls anymore.

My only solace is alcohol and even that isn't doing it for me anymore.  I'm entirely too old to be getting wasted every night...of course, that doesn't stop me from trying.


The company of strange men is another pointless endeavor...of course it gives me something to do...insert joke here.

Yes, life is pretty boring these days.


I try to call Zoey...voicemail.


"Hey Zo...it's Amy...just stalking you as usual...hope everything is going good in Butterfly Acres...just...wanting to chat.  Guess I'll talk to you later.  Bye."


Rebecca?  Strike two.


And Kelsey?  Yeah, voicemail there too.


By this time, I'm fed up.
"Well, I don't know what I need to start doing...camping outside your house or what, but I'm losing my mind...and I miss you all...so call me"

Geez, I'm losing it.

Curiously, right then I hear a crash coming from downstairs.
"For crap's sake...AJ, what did you break now?"

But when I go downstairs, he's nowhere to be found.

I head outside and see a young girl digging through my trash.
"Excuse me," I say.
She looks up, startled.  She's a beautiful girl, probably about sixteen.  She has dark black hair and blue eyes, but she looks sick or something.  Of course, rummaging through trash can do that to a person.
"I-I'm sorry..." she starts to back away.
"Wait, are you hungry?" I ask her.
She stops and looks around, as if she doesn't completely trust me.
"Why don't you come in, I'll fix you some breakfast, and we'll talk." I tell her and smile.  Hopefully she'll trust me.


When she comes in, I discover that her name is Randi and she recently got kicked out of her mother's house with her step-dad.  Apparently her step-dad was extremely abusive to both her and her mother and when Randi tried to stop it, got caught in the middle and thrown out by her mother.  

Unfortunately, it's a common story.  Either way, she dropped out of school and has been living on the streets ever since.


Hearing her story, I have an idea.  I know it's crazy, but I think this girl needs me.
"Randi, why don't you stay with me.  You can have your own room...and you can have a place to stay while you finish high school." I offer.
Randi looks concerned, "...but you don't even know me..."
I shrug, "What can I say?  I know how hard it is to try to make it on your own.  You should have seen this place when I first moved here."
"I can't put you out like this..." she continues.
"Please, it's nothing." I tell her.


After a few minutes of what I can only assume is soul searching, she agrees.


Having Randi here has been a welcome change.  I have even been teaching her how to drive.  It's been nice having someone to talk to that doesn't get on my every last nerve.


She's been eating so well that I think she's even been putting on some weight.


Well, that's what I think, but one morning she tells me she needs to talk to me.

"Sure sweetie, what's going on?" I ask her.

She fidgets and squirms for a bit.
I have come to think of her like another little sister and I hate to see her freaking out about something I don't even know anything about.
"Just spit it out, we'll deal with it, whatever it is," I tell her.

Nothing prepares me for what comes out of her mouth.


"Um...I'm pregnant."