Chapter 38: The Role of Father Will Be Played By This Turkey Baster

*AMY'S POV*

After my mother left, the first thing I did was change my shirt...I don't wear low cut shirts because I like flashing my cleavage...I wear them because turtle necks make me feel like I'm choking all the time.  Although cleavage flashing doesn't hurt!  Hehe...

*REBECCA'S POV*

Rebecca: I have the best news!

Zoey: What's up?

Rebecca: I got a gig at that huge stadium they just built!

Amy: Seriously?

Zoey: Wow!

Rebecca: I know, right?  I'm so nervous...what am I going to wear?  What am I going to sing?  What if I forget the words?

Amy: You're going to be fine.

Rebecca: I hope so...oh hey, I just had an idea...I think we should enroll Jake in after-school activities...it will probably keep him out of trouble...

Amy: ...and keep him from breaking every damn thing in this house?

Zoey: Dear God, say yes...

Rebecca: We can get online and enroll him...they have a study club...

Zoey: DO THAT ONE!

Rebecca: Oh-kay...we've got one vote for study club...

Amy: *laughing* yeah, I think so too...

Rebecca: Okay...we'll sign him up for study club...they have a music club too...

Amy: Yeah, do that one too.  He'll like it.

Rebecca: Okay, cool...it's done...

Amy: That's it?

Rebecca: Yup...

Amy: Well day-um...

My big night came up quickly...there are so many people here...I'm so nervous!

Of course my support team is in the front row...even though I think Jake is trying to figure out how to get up here himself...

Turns out I had nothing to worry about.  Everyone loved my performance.  They were all screaming my name and dancing...having a blast.  I have to say this is the best feeling in the whole world...being on stage doing what I love...there's nothing better.

*KELSEY'S POV*

While everyone else has been all preoccupied with Mom and Jake and big shows, I have been hanging out with Edmund a whole lot.  He is different than anyone I have ever met.  He's a really good guy, but he gives me enough of a challenge.  I really think I'm falling in love with him...but I'm still completely shocked when I do this...

Kelsey: Move in with me...

Edmund: What?

Kelsey: You heard me...why don't you move in with me?

Edmund: Um...don't you live with your sisters?

Kelsey: yeah, but they won't care...

Edmund: I don't know, I can be an asshole.

Kelsey: Oh, they are very used to assholes.

Edmund: Well, I guess so...they're related to one...*sly smile, wink*

Kelsey: *punches his arm* Hey!

Edmund: Ouch!  Damn, do you just want me there so you have someone to abuse?

Kelsey: Of course...why else would I want you there?  *wink*

Edmund: Well, huh...I guess you had me at nipple clamps...

Telling my sisters is going to be fun...

I decide to tell them while we're riding in a limo toward one of Rebecca's shows.

Kelsey: Hey guys...remember me telling you about Edmund?

Zoey: Yeah, how's that going?

Kelsey: Well, um...

Amy: Getting tired of him already?

Rebecca: *to Zoey* You owe me five bucks.

I glare at them as Zoey hands her a five...

Kelsey: Haha, slut-bags, actually...I want him to move in with us.

Amy's eyebrow goes up, Zoey's mouth drops open, and Rebecca scrunches her face up in a "unbelievable" look.

Kelsey: What?

Zoey: Didn't we already decide we couldn't live with boyfriends?

Amy: That's what I thought...

Rebecca: Honestly, I would rethink that decision Kels...you can never get away from him then...

Kelsey: I have thought about it...I know you all think I'm crazy, but can we please give it a chance?
I get three shrugs and silence...well, I'm going to call that a win...

*REBECCA'S POV*

That night, I have a gig at the local karaoke bar...this place is rocks...of course you have to compete with people trying to sing karaoke sometime...

That wouldn't be so bad if that person weren't my son...geez...I guess he's definitely my kid...

My mom came back into town...but as I'm singing, I'm not paying any attention to her...there's a really hot guy standing next to her...he's like, HOT hot...hmmm...

And he looks like he's enjoying himself...and obviously my mom likes him...I swear I see her checking his ass out a few times...

Of course, for some reason, Josh shows up...WTF, dude?  If we're over, then don't show up at my gig...and especially without a shirt on...come on...

After the show, Mr. Ken Doll walks up to me.

Mr. Ken Doll: Wow, you are amazing...I have never met someone so talented...

Rebecca: Awww, you're just saying that...

Mr. Ken Doll: No, I mean it, really...

Rebecca: Well, thanks...Mr....Uh?

Mr. Ken Doll: Oh, I'm sorry...my name is Lukas...Lukas Norwood...

Rebecca: Oh, well, nice to meet you, Mr. Norwood...

Mr. Ken Doll/Mr. Norwood: Oh, please call me Lukas...Mr. Norwood sounds...wrong...especially coming from a beautiful woman like you...

Rebecca: *heart skips a beat* Wow...well, thank you...Lukas.

Lukas: Yeah, definitely much better...

He's giving me that look that guys give you when you just know that they want you...and let me just tell you what...this guy is HOT...so we chat for a little bit longer until he has to leave...he says he's on call...and I find out that he's a Resident at the hospital...a DOCTOR!  Oh, Mr. Norwood, you keep looking better and better.

I get his number and give him mine...telling him to call me sometime.  God, I hope he calls.

*JAKE'S POV*

Check out this awesome guitar...I got my mom to get me a drum set, a new guitar, and a keyboard before I moved here.  Do I really want to live with my sisters?  Not particularly...honestly, they're worse than Mom...instead of having one woman constantly ragging on me, I'm going to have four...does that sound like fun?  Yeah, not to me either...

But I have an ulterior motive...I want to be a musician like Bec and I've been working my ass off to learn how to play everything I can...and I'm getting there...I fully intend to make it big.

Maybe things will slide more in my favor now that Kelsey's boyfriend is living with us...even though he hasn't stopped sucking face with Kelsey long enough to notice anyone else's existence.

As for everyone else, they're all crazy...

Jake: I'm really glad Mom left me with responsible adults...

Rebecca: Shut up, Jake.  No one asked you.

Rrriiight...maybe I should have asked to live with my brother...or Dad.

*REBECCA'S POV*

So I'm still sort of seeing Carey, and I think I really like him, but he's always really distant...he won't introduce me to his mother...it's crazy...

So I've been seeing Lukas a little bit and he likes me so much and I really like him....but I don't know who I like the most...

Lukas treats me like gold, but Carey is really hot...

I tell Amy my problem and ask her opinion...

Rebecca: Do you think Carey likes me?

Amy: I don't know...I have tried to understand men, I just can't...

Rebecca: Why wouldn't he like me though?

Amy: Bec...maybe he's like Richard...he likes you, but he's never going to be able to give you what you need in a relationship...maybe Lukas can...

Rebecca: Then why the hell can't I want to be with Lukas?

Amy: Because you're a woman and for some reason we are more attracted to men that treat us like shit.

Rebecca: Well that sucks...

Amy: Yup, pretty much.

Of course, the next time Carey and I get together, we get into a fight...I'm taking it as an omen...an omen that Lukas might be a better guy for me...and that Carey is an asshole...

*ZOEY'S POV*

Remember how Amy and I have started talking about having children on our own...with sperm donors?  Well, we have an appointment at the clinic for a consultation.

Amy: Okay, so what is going to be going on today?  Do we get to pick out baby daddies?
Zoey: No...I think it's just to check our health and all that...
Amy: Oh shit...
Zoey: What?
Amy: I'm really nervous...what if I can't have kids?
Zoey: What would make you think that?
Amy: I don't know...but...
Zoey: I'm more worried I have some STD they haven't caught yet...
Amy: You don't...if anyone would have one, I would.
Zoey: Well, let's keep a positive outlook...

We got in there, they took our blood, did STD tests, pregnancy tests...pretty much every kind of test possible...and told us how the process works.  It seems overwhelming now...but Amy and I talk about it when we get home.

Amy: So...what do you think?
Zoey: Um...I'm a little freaked out...but...I think it might be the right decision.
Amy: Yeah, me too.  I like that we can pick out all these characteristics...is it weird that I want little blue-eyed babies?
Zoey: Ha, I guess not.

Amy: Do you think you'll want to just buy the specimens and do it up turkey-baster style, or do it there?
Zoey: Well...it's more expensive with their help...but I don't want to buy a ton of it and then screw up doing the at-home thing...
Amy: True...maybe going there will be a good idea...
Zoey: Yeah...what did they tell you about your chances?
Amy: They told me there was no reason I should be worried...except that because of the late-term miscarriage I had, I would be considered high risk, so they would monitor me more closely.
Zoey: So we're really doing this?
Amy: Pending all the tests...yeah...looks like it...

Amy must sense my inner freak-out because she gives me a hug.
Amy: Don't worry...everything will be fine.

I hope so...I feel like I'm on a run-away train...I'm headed toward becoming a single mother and there is no turning back...

*AMY'S POV*

After our appointments at the fertility clinic, Zoey and I head out to Rebecca's show at The Red Rooster.  Her show is early, so we do a little partying.

Zoey is in rare form tonight, dancing and having a blast...

Amy: Who are you posing for?
Zoey: That guy over there...

Amy: He's kind of cute...

Zoey: Eh, I guess...
Amy: Did you catch his name?
Zoey: I think he said it was Terry...

Chapter 37: Mommy Dearest

*REBECCA'S POV*

Sure enough, it's my mom.  I have no idea how she found her way into the house, but she has her ways.  I honestly can't contain my excitement in seeing her.  My mom really is my best friend.  I've always just looked up to her so much and we talk about everything.

I'm sure it's obvious, but of the three of us, I look the most like my mom, which I think is a good thing because my mom is beautiful.  She was really young when she became a mom...can you believe she's had five kids?  

Kyra (Mom): There's my beautiful, talented, most wonderful girl!

She gives me a hug that threatens to cut off my circulation...those hugs are her specialty.  She might be a small woman, but she could crack a rib with these hugs.

Rebecca: Mumma!  I've missed you so much!  What do you think of our house?

Kyra: It's beautiful baby.  You've done such a good job with it...

Rebecca: Awww, thanks...isn't it gorgeous?  I painted this bar and table and chairs to match...it took forever...

Kyra: I'm sure...I'll bet your father and his new wife haven't come to see all this...

Rebecca: *fight eye-roll* No...

Kyra: That's just like your dad...always thinking of himself...and I suppose his new family is so much more important than his old one...

I guess this goes without saying, but our parents are divorced.  They have been that way since I was a kid, but they still can't stand each other.

Kyra: Oh...Jake is here too...but I think he's outside on his phone...

I have to stifle a groan...Jake is our little brother...and he's a brat...like, seriously...he's the youngest, so my mom spoils the hell out of him.

Kyra: Don't give him a hard time...

Rebecca: Do I ever give him a hard time?

Kyra: Do you really want me to answer that?

Kyra: So where is everyone?

Rebecca: Asleep...except Brody...he's watching TV...

Kyra: Ha...just like Kels, staying in bed all day, huh?

Rebecca: Haha, yeah, you know Kels.

Kyra: Hmph...isn't Amy supposed to be taking care of you all?

Rebecca: She was up late...we're all adults...we can handle ourselves.

Kyra: Well, she should still make it a bigger priority...was she out partying all night or something?

Rebecca: Um...I don't...

Kyra: I'm sure she was.  It's not like you all need her...she is only the oldest...she is just like her father...just as selfish...

I hate it when she talks like this about Amy...but I don't want my mom to get mad at me.  

Kyra: Tell you what, why don't I make some crepes for you all for breakfast.  Someone needs to be taking care of you all.

Rebecca: You don't have to...

Kyra: No, I want to...it makes me so happy to be able to take care of my family...I hold that up as a priority...unlike some people.

*Sigh*

Rebecca: Hey, do you want to hear a song I've been working on?

Kyra: Sure!  Come play it for me while I fix breakfast.

While Mom works on breakfast, I play...then Brody comes in.

Brody: What smells good?  Hey, Gaga!

My son calls my mom Gaga...she became a grandmother at such a young age, it fits.  She's a young, hip grandmother.

Kyra: There's my sweet baby boy!  I have missed you so much!

Brody: Miss you more!  Are we going to visit you soon?

Kyra: Of course baby.  Hey, do you want Gaga to get you a plate of crepes for breakfast?

Brody: Yay!

She sets him up with a plate at the table.

Kyra: I think it's time I got your sister up.

Oh no...

*AMY'S POV*

Voice that sounds like my mother: AMY!

This has to be the worst hangover nightmare I have ever had...why would I be dreaming that my mother is here?  I stretch and look up...and realize it wasn't a nightmare...she's standing at the foot of my bed.

Amy: Oh God...

Kyra: Very nice...were you planning on sleeping all day?

Amy: Probably. *roll over, hope she goes away*

Kyra: Amy, please get out of bed...it's the least you can do since I drove all night to see you.

Amy: *sits up in bed* I highly doubt that.

Kyra: *looks pained* Of course I did.  Do you not realize how much I love you?

Amy: I love you too Mom.

Kyra: Hmph...

Amy: Ya' know, I take you for your word even when I think it's bullshit, why can't you do the same for me?

Kyra: I can't believe you would talk to your mother this way.  Do you realize how much you're breaking my heart?

Amy: Obviously not...*under breath* I didn't know you could break stone.

I climb out of bed slowly...much like I'm about to face a firing range...which honestly, I am...

Kyra: Hmm...I can see you're well fed here.

Amy: I've actually lost some weight...

Kyra: Hmph...well, I made some crepes for breakfast, I'm sure you'll want some.

Actually, I've lost my appetite.

As much as I try to consider the source, her comments always really hurt my feelings.  My mother and I haven't had the best relationship.  She's not really as much of a bitch as she seems, considering..I was a really unruly teenager - so unruly that I moved in with my dad for the last two years of high school and through college.  Even though I have grown up and matured a whole lot, she still sees me as that crazy, disrespectful, strong-willed, stubborn teenager, no matter how much I try to convince her otherwise.

Amy: I didn't think I looked that bad...

Kyra: Hmph...well, let's just say you're lucky I came when I did.  We're going to have to give you a makeover...

I feel like a baby, but my mom has good fashion sense, so maybe...

Kyra: Okay, we have to do something about your hair...you're almost an old woman, you can't wear your hair like that anymore.

Amy: Okay...

Kyra: And we need to get you out of those shirts that flash your boobs and show everyone your chubby arms...

Amy: Okay...

Kyra: Really Amy, you're lucky you have me...

Is that how she sees it?

So she works diligently for awhile...

When she's done, she has put me in a turtle neck that I hate, but I like the hair style...

Kyra: Much better...it's a wonder your sisters even wanted to be seen with you like you were before.  So...what do we say?

Amy: Thank you Mom...

Kyra: You are welcome...now go downstairs and show your sisters...and Zoey...where is Zoey?

Amy: I don't...

She heads out to find her...and I hear her get finding her and sounding wildly excited to see her.

(from the next room)

Kyra: Zoey!  Sweetie!  How is my honorary daughter? Come here, give me a hug!

I can't help but sigh.  She loves my best friend, but she can't seem to love me.  Am I really that bad?  Ugh, as the tears well up, I fight to hold them back.  I refuse to let her get to me like this.  I head downstairs to talk to my sisters...and possibly kill them.

Amy: Okay, did either of you know Mom was coming?

Kelsey: Um...

Rebecca: She told me last week...

Amy: Are you fucking kidding me?  And you didn't tell me then...so I could prepare...or plan a trip far, far away from here?

Rebecca: I'm sorry...I didn't want to tell her no...she was so excited...and I knew you would have told her not to come...

Amy: Well, actually no, but thanks for just assuming what I would do instead of just asking me...look, I know how much you and Mom get along...I don't begrudge you that...

Rebecca: I know...I'm sorry Sis...

Kelsey: Me too...

Amy: No...it's fine...I'm sorry I blew up at you all...it's just...you know I hate it when you all aren't just straight with me...

Rebecca & Kelsey: Yeah, we know.

I have to let my sisters off the hook.  It's not their fault that Mom and I have the relationship we do.

*KELSEY'S POV*

Kyra: Kel-kel!  My youngest girl!  How is my baby?

True to form, Mom is kissing my ass.  I don't understand the woman.  She and Rebecca are best friends, she treats Amy like shit, and she schmoozes up to me and everyone she ever meets.  

Kelsey: I'm good.

Kyra: That's it?  You don't want to tell me about how your life is going?

Kelsey: Not much to tell...

Kyra: Well, did you see your brother?

Kelsey: Yeah...saw him.

Kyra: Do you want some breakfast?  You look too skinny...

Kelsey: Not hungry.

My minimal-syllable responses go on like this until she finally just goes away.  She and Rebecca head into the living room to talk about pretty much everything.

Kelsey: Well, that was fun...

Amy: You really shouldn't do that...

Kelsey: Do what?

Amy: You need a relationship with her...she really loves you.

Kelsey: You are unbelievable...all the shit you get from her and you're defending her?

Amy: I think it's payback...I gave her a lot of shit when I was growing up...

Kelsey: That's no excuse...

Amy: I don't know...I think it is...and she thinks I sided with Daddy during the divorce.

Kelsey: You were a kid...and you and Daddy have always been close.  How in the hell can she hold that against you?

Amy: She's doing a pretty damn good job at it...

Kelsey: Well...screw her...

Amy: Yeah...

Kelsey: Let's go see Jakerina...

Amy: Be nice...

Kelsey: I am...he deserves it.

I am referring to our little brother.  He's working on his homework my mom made him bring...mostly because if she didn't see him do it, he wouldn't do it at all.

Amy: Hey Spud!

Jake: Hey Sissy.

I walk around behind him and give him a "love" slap...he's used to it, believe me.

Jake: Ow!

Kelsey: Miss me?

Jake: Until then, yeah...it's been nice being an only child.

Kelsey: I'll bet...

We hang out for a little bit more until Rebecca bounces in...

Rebecca: Mom's coming to see me sing tonight!

Amy: Cool...

Jake: Can you bring me up tonight?

Rebecca: Jake, it's not something I can just do...these people hired me to perform for them...I can't just bring random people up on stage...

Jake's face falls.

Rebecca: I'll see what I can do.

Amazingly, we are all able to pile into the car.  Rebecca drives and Mom rides shot-gun.  

Of course when Mom gets there, she starts drinking right off the bat...I swear, she puts all of us to shame...

*REBECCA'S POV*

I have never been so excited in my entire life.  Tonight is perfect.  I have a gig at the country bar.  My mom loves country music the most...and I can tell she's having fun.

Rebecca: I would like to dedicate this performance to my mom...check her out in the audience...she's the one that has been yelling the loudest!  She's always been my biggest fan.  I love you Mumma!

She screams even louder!  She cracks me up!

After the performance, she comes on stage to talk to me.  Tears are in her eyes.

Kyra: Bec, I am so, so, soooo proud of you!  You have come so far...you are amazingly talented.

Rebecca: Aww, thanks Mumma...

Kyra: I love you so much baby.  I know you're going to go far.

Rebecca: Thanks, I love you too!

Kyra: Well, how about some dinner?  My treat!

*ZOEY'S POV*

Amy, Rebecca, and Kelsey's mom takes us out to dinner...and spends the whole time telling Amy she probably shouldn't eat anything because it will go straight to her hips.

Kyra: Honey, I'm just telling you this because I love you.  I understand, you got your body from your father's side.  Everyone on that side has to watch everything they eat.

Meanwhile, Amy is trying to tell her things she might be proud of.  Her books, the house, taking care of everyone - it doesn't matter what she says, Kyra gives her no credit.

Kyra: Amy, do you realize how unattractive bragging is?

Amy: Of course Mom.

I need to remember to call my mom and thank her for being so awesome.

Thank all that is holy, dinner is finally over and we all start getting up to leave.  Everyone heads to the bathroom, but Amy and I hang back.  I take this opportunity to make sure she's not getting ready to jump off the cliff or something.

Zoey: Hey...are you okay?

Amy: Yeah, I'm fine...I'm used to it.

Zoey: Okay...do you need to talk?

Amy: *sigh* No, I think I'm okay.  I deserve it anyway.

Zoey: What are you talking about?

Amy: I was just a bad kid.  That's the only side she's ever seen of me...I can't really blame her.

Zoey: No...she has seen way more than the bad kid you were ages ago...

Amy: *sigh* Well that's worse.  I can deal with her hating me because I was a bad kid.  I can't deal with her hating me even though I do everything I can to make her proud of me...but it's never enough...and then...

Zoey: ...and then what?

Amy: *starts crying* She loves everyone else to death.  She's given birth to five children and I'm the only one she can't stand.  What does that say about me?

Zoey: Nothing.  It doesn't say anything about you...

Amy: The truth is, I don't think I've ever really felt loved by her...even as a kid...I mean, she was young when she had me...

Zoey: Also not your fault.

Amy: *deep breath* Okay, I'm going to stop whining about this.  She is the way she is.  I either have to deal with it or cut her out of my life...and how could I possibly do that...at least and keep my relationships with my siblings?

Zoey: I don't know...

Amy: Let's go on to the car...I'm ready to get home and go to bed.

Zoey: Okay...

After our conversation, I'm still confused about why Kyra treats Amy the way she does.  I have no clue what could have been so bad that Amy feels like she deserves to be treated like crap.  I only met Amy when she was living with her dad, so I don't have a clue what she was like.  I decide to ask Kelsey.

Zoey: Hey, question...

Kelsey: Answer.

Zoey: Why does Amy think she deserves to be treated that way by your mother?

Kelsey: *sighs* I have no clue.

Zoey: What could she have done that was so bad?  Does she have a criminal record?

Kelsey: I was kind of young when it was all going down, but from what I remember, Mom and Amy used to fight a lot...like a LOT...they were constantly screaming at each other...and Amy would run away...take off for whole nights and not call...Mom would tell her to do something and she just wouldn't do it.  She hung out with these bad kids that were probably on drugs.  From what I remember, they even got in a knock-down-drag-out once or twice.

Zoey: Wow...that bad?

Kelsey: Yeah, my mom was at the end of her rope when she threatened to ship her to Daddy's...he could always keep her in line...but when she brought it up, Amy jumped at the chance to get away from her...it broke my mom's heart...she would stay up all night crying, wondering what she did to make her daughter hate her.

Zoey: Yeah, but that was well over ten years ago...how is she still mad about it?

Kelsey: Don't know...I guess she can hold a grudge.

Zoey: I guess.

We end the conversation and I head upstairs to call my mom...this whole situation has definitely made me appreciate her a whole lot more.

*REBECCA'S POV*

Even though I love having my mom here, I have to get out of the house for a minute...to meet this guy I've been talking to.  His name is Carey Romero...he's the guy I mentioned last time and he is so HOT!

We have been hanging out and I really really like him. 

And I think he likes me!  Nothing is official yet, but I think it'll only be a matter of time!  Eeek!

*AMY'S POV*

I think I have finally found the perfect defense.  Whenever I'm around my mother, I just wear my headphones and listen to my mp3 player.

Of course, that has it's disadvantages...namely, she realizes I'm not listening to her.

Kyra: AAAAMMMMYYYYY!

Amy: Woops...what do you need, Mom?

Kyra: I need to talk to you in the living room...

Amy: Okay...

We head in and Jake is sitting there.

Amy: What's going on?

Kyra: Well, Jake has informed me that he would like to stay here for awhile...

Amy: What?

Kyra: I told him I would agree to it if you would swear to me that you are going to take care of him...really take care of him...and make sure he doesn't get in any trouble.

Amy: Oh-kay...Jake, when are you wanting to move here?

Jake: Mom told me I could stay.

Amy: I haven't even had a chance to talk to everyone about this...I don't know if we even have room...

Kyra: You have a basement, right?  Give him a basement room...that'll be better for him anyway.  We'll go out and get him a bedroom set...

Amy: Whoa...so you're just going to dump him here?

Kyra: No!  Of course not!  This is what he wants...you remember what that was like, right?

Ugh...despite being blind-sided once again, I agree to let Jake stay here...after I briefly bring it up with Rebecca, Kelsey, and Zoey...but they are all cool with it...so I tell Mom...and with that, Mom says she has to go home...ugh...this is just like her...acting all freakin' self-righteous, then leaving her youngest son with his sisters.

After she leaves, I lay down the ground rules for Jake.

Amy: You have to go to school, you have to help around the house, and do your homework...and come right home after school unless you tell us about an afterschool activity...

Jake: Oh-kay, Amy...you don't have to be so bossy!

Amy: You'll think bossy if I have to put up with any bullshit...we don't have time for it around here...

Jake: Fine...do you think Bec will help me with my music career?

Amy: Maybe, but don't bug her...

Jake: I won't...

Amy: Uh-huh...

Either way it ends up, we now have our little brother living with us...heaven help us.