Thursday, January 12, 2012

Chapter 10: This is the Perfect Day to Conveniently Forget Valuable Pieces of Information

*ASKER'S POV*


Asker: Woof!  Woof!
Kelsey: Go away Asker, mommy's sleeping.
Asker: Woof!!!
Kelsey: ASKER!  Get out of here!
Asker: *wimper* *jump down, scurry away*


Asker: SQUEAK!  SQUEAK!  SQUEAK!
Amy: Someone take that toy away from her!
Asker: SQUEEEEEEEAAAAAAKKKKKKK!!!!!
Zoey: Asker, no!
Asker: *scurry back upstairs*


Asker: Woof, woof, woof!  Pant, pant, whimper.
Rebecca: I'm getting up...
Asker: *high pitched whimpers of excitement*

**********

*ZOEY'S POV*


Can I bitch for a second?  I know I've discussed how much I hate this shower before, but I am seriously so sick of this damn thing...If I get sprayed in the face again, I might just go off...

Every time we talk about replacing it, we don't.  At this point we can only afford a shower that's exactly the same...which means that it will go out with the same rapid speed as the first one.

So...guess I'm stuck with getting sprayed in the face when I'm trying to wash my armpits.

**********

*AMY'S POV*


So when I get out of bed, I walk into a dirty kitchen and a dog bouncing around wanting to get out of the house...and I see no one else in site.

Amy: Looks like just you and me, Asker.
Asker: *confused expression*
Amy: Yeah, I'm not really sure how it happened either.

First things first, breakfast, cleaning, then we'll see about going out somewhere.


After awhile, I realize I'm not going to get any peace until I walk this monster, so we head out.


Suddenly, I have an awesome idea.  If we have to have a dog, we may as well use her to our advantage, right?  So I think it's about time to teach her some tricks...

Amy: Okay, here's the deal.  If you're going to live with us, you have to earn your keep.  Let's work on your hunting skill.


She picks it up really quickly and soon she doesn't need me, so I'm free to just relax and read while she does her thing.  Maybe if I'm lucky she'll find a really valuable gem...

Male Voice: Hey there, stranger.


I look up and see Jessie...the guy that works at the coffee shop that put me in touch with Nakia.


Amy: Hey, do you make it a habit of interrupting people while they're reading?
Jessie: Nope, only you.
Amy: *laugh* I see, well now I feel special.  How have you been?
Jessie: Eh, can't complain.  How about you?  Did you get in touch with Nakia?
Amy: Yeah, that's...progressing (considering my sister is still a ghost and the rest of us have had to get jobs in the sex industry to supplement our income, saying it's going well doesn't quite do it in my opinion)
Jessie: Okay, way to be cryptic...that's fine...
Amy: I'm sorry, are you writing a book or something?
Jessie: Actually I am...I'm thinking about calling it How to Get Pretty Women to Talk To You
Amy: Ha!  Wow, that's a hell of a line...
Jessie: Yeah, but you liked it, admit it.
aren't we just a little full of ourselves?


Jessie: Eh, it comes naturally to me, I'm a Capricorn...
Amy: Oh, ok...me too...no wonder we butt heads.

Even though Jessie is obnoxious, he is kind of cute...I think I might like him a little bit.



Amy: So, have you figured out how to get pretty girls to talk to you?
Jessie: Nah, not really...but I get lucky every once in a while when one does...

He gives me this look for a second and I think he might be thinking about kissing me, but he doesn't.  Okay, well I'm not about to let him get away...
Amy: So hey, why don't we go out and do something tonight?  We could hit a club or go to the coffee house...or just hang out somewhere...how about it?
Jessie: Um...well...uh...I can't.
Amy: Okay, some other time?
Jessie: Um, I think my girlfriend would get mad.

GIRLFRIEND?!!  WTF?

Okay I try to relax my inner crazy girl, but...SERIOUSLY???!  He has a girlfriend?  I could swear we were just flirting a second ago...were we not?

I am so shell shocked that I can't say anything for a few seconds...

Jessie: Um, well...I gotta get back to work.  See ya'.


He runs away quicker than Forrest Gump...damn...I really don't understand men...


Ya' know...here's my dilemma...I know all men want to get laid, so I can handle that part...but as far as what the hell makes a man want to settle down with a particular woman...I am lost.

Upon further reflection, it's pretty clear that I was destined to end up in my current line of work.


To beat it all, Asker runs off all the way to the junkyard...and she doesn't find anything but an empty bag of chips.  Awesome.


Amy: Well, today has been a bust...let's go home.
Asker: *look up*, *whine*

Damn, this is the whiniest dog!

**********

*KELSEY'S POV*


Work has been awesome today...and for once I'm not being sarcastic.  I got a bonus of $2,000 for helping this old woman that turned out to be loaded!  Oh hell yeah!  So instead of throwing it into our savings, I get something a little fun...this game console!  I know, oooh watch out, we're crazy party women here...but at least we won't have to look to old boring Lifetime movies for entertainment anymore.


And Asker loves her squeaky hot dog...even though no one else does...she likes cuddling up with it while she sleeps.

So since today was such a good day, of course I have to try to do something that has the real potential of fucking up my day...cooking.


And I get rewarded handsomely...after I safely manage to not burn the house down by fixing pancakes, the dishwasher breaks on me when I clean up...okay, I've had enough of this...I know exactly what I need to do with our savings...hell, we have $3,326 total.

So I get to buying new kitchen stuff...


The first thing I buy is the most important thing...a bar!  Hey, don't judge...we're four single women...with no money and no sense of morals or decency anymore...not saying we ever did.  

Four broke girls may as well translate to four drunk girls.  Hel-lo.


So I buy new counters, a new stove, fridge, and all these little appliances...unfortunately I buy all this crap and run out of money before I can buy the most important things...a dishwasher and a kitchen table...oooops...I probably should have waited for someone who actually know what they're doing in the kitchen.

**********

*REBECCA'S POV*



While my dumb ass little sister is blowing all our savings on overpriced kitchen appliances, I decide to get a little resourceful...


I make sure no one is watching and do a little dumpster diving...these people have to be more wasteful than they let on...


Unfortunately, I didn't get much...except some bubble bath and a rubber ducky...hmm, at least I can bathe in style now...

We're down to $145...crap.

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