Chapter 18: This is Not Oprah, But I Can Understand Your Confusion.

*KELSEY'S POV*



Nothing makes a good night more than dreaming about diamonds...hmm...that's debatable...but either way...



Speaking of debates, I didn't know this, but apparently Bashful and I are in disagreement as to exactly what time I should get up in the morning...because I am startled awake well before I would like to be by her meows.

I jump out of bed and growl.
Kelsey: What could you possibly want right now cat?
Bashful: Meow.

She jumps down and rubs herself all over my leg...ugh...
Kelsey: I'm too nice, right?  That's it.
Bashful: Meow.
Kelsey: Yeah, I thought so. *sigh*

I'm about to crawl back in bed, but the phone rings.  I look at it and it's the local paper.

Kelsey: Hello?
Nameless Drone at the Newspaper: Is this Kelsey Keagan?
Kelsey: Yeah...
Drone: Sources say that you have been cheating on your current boyfriend, German...care to comment?
Kelsey: What?!  That would be a hell no...on commenting and cheating.  Where did you get that information from?
Drone: I can't reveal my sources, but they say you were seen in a hot tub with another young lady...
Kelsey: Shit.
Drone: This ring a bell?
Kelsey: No, leave me alone.
Click!



I don't know how sitting in a hot tub with another woman constitutes as cheating...I mean, I did try to kiss her...but just tried...still not cheating, right?  Yeah, that's what I'm telling myself.  It was at German's house anyway, hell, if he had seen me he probably would have wanted to join in.

Well, what a great effing morning.


*REBECCA'S POV*



I wake up to Hugh staring at me while I sleep, all Edward Cullen style.

Rebecca: Um, good morning...
Hugh: Mornin'...
Rebecca: Whatcha doin?
Hugh: Watching you.
Rebecca: I kinda got that...
Hugh: Wanna hang out today?
Rebecca: I could...I have the day off...do you have to work?
Hugh: No...I'm kind of between jobs right now.

How do I always pick guys without jobs?  Oh well, at least he's hot.



Hugh: I really like you Bec, you know that, right?
Rebecca: Well I certainly hope so after spending the night with me!

Even after saying that, I know there are a lot of men that take advantage of women that sleep around, and I'm bound and determined not to be one of those women.  I know this sounds bad, but I've seen how men have treated Amy in the past and I don't want to have the same problem.  I'm not judging or anything but men really don't marry women that give it up too easily.



Rebecca: So if you like me so much, what are we doing?  Are we dating, or what?
Hugh: Of course, I could very easily fall in love with you, Rebecca.

Awwwwww...*swoon*.
I swear, I think I'm in love.

Hugh: Hey Bec?
Rebecca: Yes?
Hugh: You know how I said I'm between jobs right now?  Well, the rent here is eating me alive, so I was thinking...maybe I can stay with you?  At least for a little while.
Rebecca: Um...

*ZOEY'S POV*

Amy is up to something.  I just know it.  I have known this girl too long.  She took off early this morning clearly on a mission and if she didn't tell me what it is, I know she's up to no good.

Hmm...maybe she has a "client".  She is pretty quiet about them.  Even though Rebecca is human again, I know she still meets with men sometimes.  Hell, I kind of don't blame her.  She has picked up enough skills she has been able to raise her rates a bit.



The only thing that sucks is she never seems to have time to work on her writing.  I need to remind her of her actual goal.

So I sit down to work on another book, the house is empty and I always get more done when there's not constant crazy going on around me.  Speaking of raising rates, I am getting paid more because I have maxed my writing skill.  It's about damn time, maybe since I'm getting paid a bit more we won't have to rely on Amy's "extracurricular activities".

Just as I am getting on a roll, I hear honking outside.  I run out and see men unloading some stuff out of a truck.

Trucker #1: Delivery!
Zoey: To who?
Trucker #2: Keagan is the name on the order...that you?
Zoey: No, but I live with three of them, so I'm guessing it's one of theirs.

They pull out a new washing machine and a new dryer.
Trucker #2: Where do you want this?
Zoey: Uh...uh...

All I can do is point.  These look brand new...unlike the old set we have makes so much noise it sounds like it's going to walk away and a dryer that never really dries anything.  I have gotten used to wearing damp clothes.



So now we have a new washer and dryer.  Damn, she's doing better than I thought.

I apparently have no idea because as soon as the delivery people leave, a gravel truck shows up...



Gravel Guy: We were told to come here and pour some gravel for a parking lot...

What the hell...?  Why do we need a parking lot?  We don't have any cars...

At this point I call her.
Amy: Hello?
Zoey: What the hell is going on?
Amy: Oh...yeah...sorry, I didn't mean to blindside you...I'm sure you're shocked by all the deliveries, but I'll be home in a second and let you know who's is who's.
Zoey: What do you mean?  The washer, dryer, and gravel?
Amy: Oh...
Zoey: Oh what?
Amy: Um...you'll understand more soon, but we'll talk about it then, ok?  I'll be right home.

She knows I don't like surprises.



I don't have to wait long.  The next truck that comes in doesn't just have one or two, but four cars.

I stand there flabbergasted until Amy comes home.
Amy: Um...surprise?

I look at her slowly...
Zoey: What the fuck...where the fuck...why the fuck...?
Amy: Um...I just came into some extra money...
Zoey: That's a way of putting it...who the hell did you screw?  The pro football team?
Amy: No, I've been saving...
Zoey: Did you get Damian paid back?
Amy: I gave him his money...but he told me I still owe him.
Zoey: What the hell does that mean?
Amy: I don't know...but I knew I was getting into bed with a snake when I made the deal with him...I shouldn't be surprised that he bit me.
Zoey: Well that's just great...
Amy: Let's not worry about that...let me show you our new cars!
Zoey: Can we seriously afford all this?  Do we have any money left?
Amy: We have enough to pay the bills...and I've still been making money hacking...and writing.

She looks kind of disappointed.
Okay, I need to put my worries on the back burner, which isn't easy.

Zoey: Okay, what have we got?



Amy: This is mine...it's a 1997 Mitsubishi Eclipse...see it's used.
Zoey: Okay...does it run?
Amy: Yes, of course.



Amy: This one I was thinking for you...it's a Wornado Triage.

I have to admit it's perfect.

Amy: It's purple...
Zoey: I see that...



Amy: Okay...then I got Rebecca this old classic car...they don't know what kind it is, but I know how she kind of likes vintage stuff, so...
Zoey: Oh yeah, this is definitely her.



Amy: And then I got Kels this yellow beetle.
Zoey: I figured that...
Amy: So you're okay with them?
Zoey: Just as long as we can make our bills without having to sell any body parts...

Amy: Well how do you think I got the money for all this?
Zoey: I'm glad you can laugh about it.
Amy: It's either that or cry...

Yeah, I thought so.

*AMY'S POV*

Okay, I know it was crazy of me to buy those cars, but we all need them and I thought it would be a nice treat.  I really have been saving. 

I tried to get out of the whole hooking thing after Rebecca became human again, but it's just sooo much money.  I'm making $600 a pop now...basically tripled my income.  I don't do it all the time, but it is certainly nice supplemental income.

Apparently Kelsey is having a problem giving it up too...

But I am still hacking and writing...and as soon as I make enough as a writer, I will stop everything else.


*REBECCA'S POV*

I stay with Hugh until I get a call asking me to work as a bartender at an event in the theater.  I'm getting paid, so I have to go.

I know this was probably wrong, but I told him he could stay with us.  Yeah, I know I should have asked everyone else first, but what was I supposed to do?  His lease is up and he's going to be out on the streets if he doesn't come up with enough rent.  Bill moved out because he has  new girlfriend, and he lost his job.  I really didn't see any other option.  I'll just tell everyone that he was being evicted...which isn't far from the truth.

After working this event, I take the money I head to the junkyard to see if I can find anything to salvage.

I found this treadmill, which is good because I need to start working out hardcore, and Kelsey has been wanting one.

Then I found this sofa and put the same fabric on it and set it in the living room.  Amy will love it because it's bigger and much cozier than the loveseat.

My biggest find is this gaming system.  I can't believe someone just left it there...it only needed a few repairs!  Zoey is going to freak over it.  She likes our current one, but this is fancier.

So...now that I've sufficiently found enough stuff to butter everyone up, it's time to tell them.
They're all in the kitchen eating dinner.

Rebecca: Hey, can I talk to you all for a second?
Amy: Sure, what's goin' on babe?
Rebecca: Well, you guys know how I'm dating Hugh, right?
Kelsey: Did you get herpes yet?
Rebecca: Ew!  No!  Did you get herpes when you screwed him, Kels?
Kelsey: No, but it was a one-time thing...I didn't make repeated appearances at Chateau Crabs.
Rebecca: Kelsey!  That's so gross!  He can't give me anything...he's not dirty.
Zoey: And clean equals no STDs?
Amy: Yeah, I think they covered that in health class on a day I missed...and just FYI, he can give you something...a baby...so you better be using a condom...

Okay, this is not going so great.

Rebecca: Could we please get back to what I was wanting to talk to y'all about...and without comments from the peanut gallery?
Amy: *looks at you* Pretty sure that was directed at you.
Kelsey: Yeah, well, what can I say, I'm just bubbling with personality.

Zoey: *laughs* Shit.
Rebecca: YOU GUYS!  Could you please shut up and let me finish?  I know we all have ADD, but we need to focus.
Amy: Ok babe, you've got our full attention.
Rebecca: Okay, so basically I hung out with Hugh today and his landlord came buy and basically evicted him...

Kelsey: Rebecca's dating a hobo!
Zoey: Aw shit.

Amy: Do you need our help finding him a nice box to live in?
They're all laughing their asses off...well fine, they don't want to listen to me, I'm just going to move him in on my own...so I speak over their laughter...

Rebecca: Well, just wanted to let you know that he is going to move in here.

All three of them shut up and fixed their eyes on me.

Amy: What?
Zoey: Say again?
Kelsey: Were you planning on telling us?
Rebecca: Um, hel-lo dumb ass, what do you think I've been trying to do these past twenty freakin' minutes?

Suddenly there's a knock at the door.  It's Hugh.

Rebecca: Okay, well you bitches missed your chance to talk all kinds of crap about him because he's here.

Rebecca: Hey Hughie!
I give him a big hug and kiss.

Rebecca: I was just letting my three sisters over there *stink eye, stink eye, stink eye* know what's going on.  Let me get you a drink.
Hugh: Cool...I didn't know you were all sisters...you...um...don't look alike or anything.

Zoey: Aw shit.

Kelsey slaps herself in the mouth to keep from busting out laughing.  I glare at them, but they don't care.  And of course Amy, ever fanning the flames, without missing a beat or cracking a smile...

Amy: *gestures to Zoey* Yeah, we're twins... fraternal though.

I mouth "I fucking hate you" to her.

Of course, this makes Kelsey slap her other hand on her mouth and lays her head down on the table.  She's laughing so hard she's shaking.

Zoey pinches her lips together with a smirk and shakes her head. 

Hugh: Wow, so are you guys like, those kinda twins where you have two different dads?  I saw something like that on the news...

Amy: *looks offended* No, when our mother was pregnant with us there was a problem with the pigment production and all the pigment went to Zoey and I didn't get any...that's why I'm so pasty...but thanks for suggesting our mom was a whore.

Hugh looks at her with a shocked and uncomfortable expression on his face.

Zoey: *covers her face with her hands* Holy shit.

Amy: She's very sensitive about it.  *pats Zoey on the back*

Hugh: Whoa!  Really?

Rebecca: She's fucking with you...Amy, Kelsey, and I have the same parents and Zoey is our friend, but she's our honorary sister.

Hugh: Oh!  Dude, I was wondering...that was like, weird.
Rebecca: Yeah, you're going to get that a lot here.  Let's just go to bed.
Amy: Welcome to the family.

We head to bed and I can hear them laughing in the kitchen.

Hugh: They don't like me, do they?
Rebecca: Yeah they do, they're that way with everyone.

I am really going to kill them.

*AMY'S POV*



Okay, I can get used to him living here, but we're going to have to have a discussion about eating breakfast in his underwear...never mind that Kelsey and I have already seen the man naked, I don't need a side of balls with my cereal.

Amy: Um, hey Hugh, how's it hangin?
Hugh: Um, okay...what's with the old school slang?
Amy: I'm not trying to be cool...I'm actually asking...looks like you're kind of free-balling it there.
Hugh: Oh, sorry...I sleep in my underwear...that's not a problem is it?
Amy: Not as long as you're sleeping....in your bedroom.  You don't see us walking around in our underwear.
Hugh: You know, I wouldn't be opposed to that...
Amy: Wow, that sounds like a great idea, can we have a pillow fight too?
Hugh: *laughs* You're fucking with me again, right?
Amy: Ding, ding.

Maybe he's not as much of a dumb ass as I thought.



The best news?  Know what this is?  It's our house...with actual siding on it!  Holy crap!  Look who's moving up in the world!

We were also able to put up new paint and tile in the kitchen...

...and put up wallpaper in the living room.

So we're well on our way to our goals...which is good because I have a feeling with this guy living with us, things are going to get a lot more interesting.