Chapter 47 Pt. 1: And Still...

*REBECCA'S POV*

I turn around and sure enough, there stands Josh - a man I fell so in love with that he changed me forever.  A man I have only recently gotten over.

Before I can turn away, his gaze lands on me and he gives me that smile that is so big it reaches up to his eyes.  Those eyes that twinkle and laugh and draw me in.  He is definitely the type of guy they write country songs about...of course by "they" I mean "me."

Okay, I can be an adult about this, even though my stomach is in flip-flops.

He starts walking toward me and I walk ahead to meet him.

REBECCA: Hey...

JOSH: Hey...

REBECCA: What are you doing here?

JOSH: It's a wine shop...so...

REBECCA: Buying eggs and milk?

JOSH: Haha!  *chuckle* Yeah, that's it.  How have you been?

Even though I know the first thing out of my mouth should be mentioning my fiance' and my upcoming wedding, I avoid that topic at all costs.

REBECCA: I've been okay...ya' know, working a lot.

JOSH: Yeah, I've seen a couple of your shows.  Your performances get more amazing every time I see them.

I look down and blush.  I'm not normally the blushing type and I very rarely shy away from a compliment, but being here with him is really throwing me.

REBECCA: Thank you...I've caught a few of your shows too...they're awesome, of course.

JOSH: Thanks, we're working on a new sound...

REBECCA: Yeah, I could hear that the last time I saw you...

JOSH: Well, uh, next time you catch one, come back stage and say hi, will ya'?

REBECCA: I'm getting married.

I didn't mean to blurt it out, I really didn't...just...that last invitation seemed a little more inviting than it probably should have been.

He looks shocked...maybe a little sad...and I can't help but wish I hadn't said it.  I know it changes things between us.  I don't think either of us ever felt like it was completely over...but it was...it is...and I had to move on...but for some reason I feel like I'm cheating...on him.

REBECCA: Um...yeah, sorry...I guess I could have had a smoother delivery with that news.

JOSH: Huh, yeah, I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything...that's...a shock...so, when's the big day?

REBECCA: Probably this weekend...

JOSH: Wow...so soon?

REBECCA: You know me, once I've decided on something....

JOSH: All too well...*awkward chuckle*

REBECCA: Yeah...

JOSH: Listen, I'm really happy for you...really...you deserve a good man.

REBECCA: Thanks...

I look over his shoulder and see my mom glaring at me.  She has hated Josh ever since he broke up with me...geez, I'm sure I'm going to hear it from her.  Damn, Amy could have distracted her or something...

Of course, I look her way and she's headed back to the sample bar...great...

REBECCA: Josh, I have to get going...I have a lot of stuff to get ready...um...if you want to come to my wedding, you're more than welcome...

JOSH: I don't know about that...

REBECCA: Well, either way, you're invited.

JOSH: Okay...thank you.

He turns around and glances back at me, looking as though he wants to say something, but he doesn't.  He just smiles a little half smile and walks away.

My mom takes that opportunity to grab me by the arm and haul me over to the corner of the store, like I'm a damn child.

KYRA: What the hell do you think you're doing?
REBECCA: I'm talking to an old friend, Mom, that's it.
KYRA: You were talking to an ex-boyfriend, Rebecca, and don't act so innocent, I know you too well.
REBECCA: What are you talking about?  I am innocent...

KYRA: No, you're not.  I know that look too well.  You still have feelings for him, don't you?

REBECCA: So what if I do?  He doesn't want to be with me, so that's the end of it.

KYRA: It didn't seem like that from what I could see.

REBECCA: You didn't see anything...

KYRA: Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining, Bec.  I'm not blind.

REBECCA: No, but you're crazy.

KYRA: Okay, let's call Lukas and see what he thinks about all this...

REBECCA: Mom!  No...

KYRA: Well, why not?  It was completely innocent, right?

REBECCA: Yes, but you know how he would react.

KYRA: That's exactly my point.  You are about to become a married woman.  That means stopping any activity your husband doesn't like.

REBECCA: He doesn't control me, Mom.

KYRA: If you want to keep him you have to let him, at least to a certain degree.

Amy is standing behind me saying nothing, but when she hears that, she speaks up.

AMY: Mom, could you just shut the fuck up?

KYRA: Excuse me?

AMY: You heard me the first time....but for you, I'll say it again...Shut the fuck up.

REBECCA: Amy, stop, you're drunk.

AMY: Not nearly as much as I would like to be, hearing all this bullshit...Bec's not getting a Daddy, Mom, she's getting a husband, a partner in life, a P-A-R-T-N-E-R.  Do you know what that means?  It doesn't mean he gets to boss her around.

KYRA: Hmph, well, Amy, I'm glad you're never going to be in this situation, because you will never get a man with that attitude.

REBECCA: Mom, you don't have to insult her just because you're mad at me.

KYRA: Look, I'm just trying to make sure you don't make a really stupid mistake and completely ruin your life.

AMY: Damn it...

REBECCA: Amy, please...Mom, I don't understand what you ever had against Josh anyway...

 

KYRA: Look what he did to you...look what he did to Brody.  Brody loved him.  He looked up to him, and he didn't even have the decency to sit down with him and tell him what was going on.  Do you remember him asking where Josh was for almost a month?

REBECCA: Mom, as much as I wish it weren't true, Josh didn't owe anything to Brody.  He's not his dad.
KYRA: Well, that just shows you what kind of person he is.  Who would do that to a little boy and not even care?
REBECCA: Brody is fine, Mom.  He never talks about Josh.  I was hurt at first and mad at him because Brody loved him too, but I was wrong.

KYRA: Look, none of this matters.  All that matters now is that you're marrying Lukas and are never going to see Josh again.

As much as I disagree with her, I just shut up.  She will never understand, so I just walk away.

I have to have a drink after that conversation.